Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Starving for attention.

It's taken me a long time to come to the place where I am. A place of peace about who I am and where I am in life. For a long time I struggled with always wanting and needing some type of a friendship or relationship in my life to fill a void of lonliness. I think alot of it stems from the fact that I'm without my family here in Lexington. I see my friends being able to see their parents, siblings, and other family members at any time. Thats not something I have the privledge of being able to do. I'm lucky if I see my family three times a year. And thats not the only contributing factor in the midst of all of this that plays a role in not wanting to be alone. God created woman so that man didn't have to be alone. It's biblical that companionship and the desire for it is in fact normal. But you can't let that make who you are as a person. It absolutely cannot define who you are. If it does, then you are simply putting your future into someone elses hands. You can't solely rely on friends or significant others to make who you are. It's something I've heard time and time again. It's the sermon you hear in church and you say "Thats the guy sitting next to me with that problem... NOT ME!" but in reality you have to accept that maybe that is you.

Over the past few months I've been so content in my relationship with the Lord. The more I am alone, the more I realize that I am not alone. That doesn't mean that I don't miss my family, I don't desire lasting friendships, or that I don't want to eventually be married to a Godly woman. But I am content in the things the Lord is doing in my life. I am content sitting alone in reflective prayer and meditation with the Lord instead of always doing something with someone. I am not planning or building or surrounding myself in expectation of someone else. I am going after the things I feel the Lord has before me. I am chasing the dreams I have in my heart. I am passionate about them and I am thankful that the Lord has brought me to the place I am at. I've definitely had my downfalls and struggles along the way.. The path to wisdom is not without the bumps and bruises and the hard lessons. But overall they help us become truely wise.

In the past few months the Lord has not only taught me to be content in my relationship with Him but also in being a steward with my money. Money is the topic that Jesus talked about most in his time on earth. I really used to blow this topic off and just say "It's my hard earned money, I'll be alright with my decisions with it." but it's important in understanding that being wise with your money is wisdom in itself. I've started a rough budget each time I'm paid and so far it's worked out pretty well.

I know that the road to know Christ better is one that is never ending. I'll never "be there." I'll never "know it all." because we serve a God that is limitless and is far beyond our minds. We are always learning. We are always growing. This is a season I have grown so much, and I am going to continue one step at a time.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


You tell people you know what his idol was. You claim you know his heart better than himself.

Is it easier for you to say those things? Does it make you feel better to tell people the things that you can't even be sure of?

It's a dangerous thing to put yourself in the very seat of God.

Sunday, July 31, 2011


"If we let ourselves, we shall always be waiting for some distraction or other to end before we can really get down to our work. The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still unfavorable. Favorable conditions never come." C.S. Lewis

What are you waiting for? Live your life. Now.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

World Traveler.

Andrew Peterson is an artist I randomly found on Itunes and I am SO glad that I did. His latest album "Counting Stars" is so good. Here is "World Traveler"

I grew up in a little town
A southern mix of lost and found
Where most folks seem to stick around
But I could hear the highway song
I'd sit out on the dock till dawn
And dream about the great beyond

(I dreamed that I was)
A world traveler
Set me loose to find my way
Just get me out on the road someday
With my sails unfurled
So many mysteries
I wanted to unravel
If I could travel the world

Soon enough I had my way
I saw the world the Lord has made
Mostly from the interstate
But I had hardly seen a thing
Until I gave a golden ring
To the one who gave her heart to me

(And I became)
A world traveler
That's the day I hit the road
'Cause I walked the hills of the human soul
Of a tender girl
I'm a world traveler
She opened the gate and took my hand
And led me into the mystic land
Where her galaxies swirl
So many mysteries
I never will unravel
I want to travel the world

Take a left at the end of my street
Just a few doors down
Up the hill and into the trees
There's a hole in the ground
Where we traveled the caverns so deep
We wandered the wonders so wide
It was right beneath our feet
All this time, all this time

Tonight I saw the children in their rooms
Little flowers all in bloom
Burning suns and silver moon
And somehow in that starry sky
The image of the Maker lies
Right here beneath my roof tonight

(So hold on tight, I'm a)
World traveler
Pack yours bags and dig down deep
Let's ride the storms and sail the seas
To the distant pole
I'm a world traveler
Into these uncharted lands
To blaze a trail in the vast expanse
Of the heart and soul
In the grace of the God of peace
Let's wade into the battle
Come on, come on with me
And get up in that saddle
There's a million mysteries
I never will unravel
Come on, let's travel the world

Tuesday, May 31, 2011


Tonight I am humbled and in awe of a God who is far greater and wiser and more amazing than anything my mind can even fathom.

This past weekend God has shown me so many things and opened my eyes to things I've never really grasped before. I've always embraced the fact that I'm a man. I like to get my hands dirty. I like to be a helper. I love to fix things. But the difference between being a mere man and being a man of God is one thing. STRENGTH. On my own strength I can get very little done. The results are limited and things never seem to work. Things backfire in my face. I'm left empty and wondering why I cant just fix everything for everyone. But God reminded me that It is by his strength alone that things get accomplished. How could I ever be a friend, a son, a boyfriend, an employee, or a Wyldlife leader on my own strength? I can't. I cannot do it. There is nothing of purpose and no reward from it. With God I can do all those things and more! One day I hope to be a father to some beautiful kids. One day I hope to be a firefighter and save peoples lives. One day I hope to be an Ephesians 5:25 man to my beautiful wife. Is there any way possible that I can do that on my own strength?


I am so humbled and thankful that God has saved me from so much grief and pain and anguish in all my failures. He's giving me a chance to start relying on his strength and love on a daily basis. Do not be fooled. Your friends cant give you the strength and your family cant do it and your significant other cant give you the strength to accomplish Gods will for your life on their strength. Only God working in them, and God in the full can give you the strength to succeed in these things.

I am a man. I'm a man that has been reminded that a real man lays down his pride and humbles himself in the midst of a God who is eager to help us. A God who will never leave us nor forsake us. This weekend has strengthend my foundation and I am eternally grateful to God.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Holding on when you can't.

When Job lost his children to the death and destruction of Satan he immediately fell down to his knees and praised God.

That is a testament to all of us who have ever been down on our luck, who haven't had things work out, who lost something or someone in a sudden way. To praise God when our hearts are crushed is the epitomy of radical faith. To do an act such as that is putting ourselves in the backseat instead of the drivers seat. An act such as that is saying "Okay, God. I trust you. I know you will work this out to my benefit. You will heal me and sustain me. In this mess of my life you are being glorified." Anyone who has been crushed knows that it's not easy to praise God when we are upset.

Who wants to praise God when all we want to do is wallow in our own self pity? Read that statement one more time.

"Who wants to praise God.." Want? WANT? It doesn't matter if we WANT to praise God. We NEED to praise God. Sometimes I don't WANT to go to work but I know I NEED to go to work so I can earn my paycheck and continue living!

If anything, I've learned over the past year (with many recent reminders) that we cannot get our fulfillment from anything other than God. We can't. If we put our hope, our dependency, our aspirations, our love into anything that isn't God then we are setting ourselves up for a rude awakening.

Two days ago I was waiting to hear back about a job. I can't tell you how excited and hopeful I was for this job. I had so many people praying for me and supporting me. I acknowledged in my prayers that this wasn't in my hands but in Gods. Well, long story short is that I didn't get the job. When I heard about the news I immediately felt like a failure. I felt like everything that I was hoping for and dreamed of was shot down. I wanted to go off by myself and be alone. I wanted to wallow in my disappointment and crushed hopes, but I wasn't able to and that was most definitely because of God.

I didn't fall on my knees and praise God. I sat in a chair and asked "why not me?"

Thankfully, I have an amazing group of people in my life that support me. To remind me that life goes on, that God has other plans, and this doesn't define me as a person. I knew all those things, but to be encouraged by the people you love is a blessing from God. It picks you up when you cannot stand on your own.

In the end you can't sit down and focus on what you don't have. The things that didn't pan out. The hurt you feel inside. The emptiness we feel. You must give EVERYTHING over to God and push forward. You cannot let your failures, hurt, and downfall define who you are. You are only defined by who you are in Christ Jesus. PERIOD.

God finds value in you. God cherishes you. God wants your praise. God wants your hurt. God wants it all.

The devil will haunt you. The devil will tell you lies. The devil knows just exactly how to make you feel incomplete.

When we listen to the lies of Satan and question God... Look what happens.

Job 38

Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:
2 “Who is this that obscures my plans
with words without knowledge?
3 Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.

4 “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
6 On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone—
7 while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels[a] shouted for joy?

8 “Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,
9 when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,
10 when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,
11 when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt’?

12 “Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,
13 that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?
14 The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
its features stand out like those of a garment.
15 The wicked are denied their light,
and their upraised arm is broken.

16 “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?
17 Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
18 Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.

19 “What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does darkness reside?
20 Can you take them to their places?
Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
21 Surely you know, for you were already born!
You have lived so many years!

The verse goes on for awhile. The point is that God knows what he's doing!

Fall to your knees and praise Him.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Promise keeper

When I was fairly young my dad took me to a mens conference called "Promise Keepers". It was a weekend long Christian mens retreat in a big arena in Tampa. I only remember bits and pieces of it, as I was really young when I went. But I always remember the drive home when my dad would ask me... "So are you a PK?" And I'd always kinda stare at him with this confused look on my face. He'd smile and say "Are you a promise keeper or a punk kid?" That always made me laugh and take a step back to think "Am I keeping my promises to God? Am I following Him and glorifying him the best I possibly can? Or am I being a rebel?" As I've grown up and moved on from those times in my life, I still ask that question to myself. Am I a promise keeper? Am I glorifying God in my actions, following His will, and ultimately living a Godly life? Unofortunately many times the answer is no. God made a promise to us that He would always love us, never leave us, and always forgive us when we did wrong. The only thing He wants in return is that we seek Him and love Him with all that we have. To live honorable lives according to his Word. There are numerous times I have failed over and over and over. Every single time I know God is there to pick me up and dust me off. He embraces me when I don't deserve it. He extends grace when I'm rebellious.

It always comes back around. Am I a promise keeper? My dad always told me that being a promise keeper was the true measure of a man. A man that keeps his promises to God and the ones he loves showed where his priorities and heart were. Over the past week that has hit me so hard. I not only want to be a man, but I want to be a Godly man who is true to his promises. I want to show God and the ones I love that I am true to my word in every aspect. Yes, It's possible for me to fail but thats only If I let my pride get in the way. I need to lay down my pride and pick up my cross... daily.

Thats whats on my heart and that is what I so strongly am striving for in my day to day life right now. I'm a promise keeper. Are you?

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Figuring it all out.

Ever since I was very young, I have always struggled with knowing what I wanted to do when I got older. I remember wanting to be a fireman, police officer, a pyschiatrist, a real estate agent, and most recently a youth pastor. It's always frustrated me that I could never figure out just exactly what I wanted to do. I felt like I was on the right path on a few things but then somehow the road lead to a dead end. I know I can do anything I set my mind to, and that when I want something... I go for it until I've achieved it. But one of my faults is that I sometimes get discouraged fairly easily and just wanna quit. In all honesty, I really am struggling with the thought of being in ministry as a career. I know ministry is always going to play a role in my life, but I know that the Lord isn't directing my life towards ministry as a career right now. There are other things he's put on my heart and mind. I am pretty nervous and definitely questioning my ability to do some of the things that are asked of me. I am putting my trust in the Lord to guide me through this time of change. I know He won't let me fail in His plan for my life. That is the one thing that helps keep me going. There are so many things in this life that I have yet to figure out, experience, and accomplish. But God has placed so many wonderful people in my life to help me along the way that I am constantly encouraged and challenged.

God has used my mother and father (and siblings) to always encourage me with wisdom and leadership to raise me in the right way.

God has used my friends who bring their thoughts and spiritual encouragement to the table to help sharpen my thinking.

God has used my wonderful girlfriend to encourage me by her strength and courage to remind me that while circumstances aren't always good, God is always good and He will see things through to the very end.

At the end of the day, I know God has provided and blessed me beyond what I deserve. He knows my plans and the things deep in my heart that I pray daily come to pass. He knows the desires of my heart and the things that I care most about. He's got all of those things in the palms of his hands and He's going to take care of me according to His will for my life. That is what keeps me going most of all.